possibilities...IV.

After that phone call, we talked again, this time more calmly, orgasms out of the way.

We discussed how we might find a girl who would want to either join, or watch, or listen. How it would have to be someone I trust. We discussed whether I was bi or just curious. I talked about how nervous I was in general . How I was afraid the scary part of this venture would block me from enjoying it. He reassured me once again that it was my call, that there was no rush or requirement. That there were all the other options too. But he promised too that he would make sure to do everything in his ability to make sure I wasn’t ‘blocked’ at all. He tried to be subdued as we talked and I understood his attempt. His excitement even when contained was contagious, and I didn’t want to do it for his reasons either.

I thought about it for two days straight. It seemed like any time my mind was not occupied with the demands of the day, it just came rushing in.

And I wasn’t even thinking anymore about if this would help my sporadic confusion with him. I couldn’t deny I wanted to do it and I figured it was worth a shot when it came to the relationship. But was I ready for this? Did I have the prowess, the strength of mind? Would I still enjoy ‘normal’ sex after this? I kept searching for and finding excuses not to take this jump, some valid, but none strong enough for me to abandon the idea. And if I couldn’t abandon it, what would I do with it? Let it sit there and burn forever?

Finally, my mind was made up and I decided to leave him a phone message:

Hello!
Yeah sorry, I fell asleep early last night so I didn’t get a chance to call.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what we talked about.
I don’t think I’d be able to really deal with having someone directly involved in our sex quite yet. The dynamics of a threesome would be kinda hard for me I think.
But –and you knew there was a ‘ but’ coming- I do like the idea of having someone watching or listening while we’re having sex. Probably a girl. It’s really starting to grow on me.. Really starting to excite me in fact.
I think I want to try it.
Well, we can talk more about it, how we might want to go about it, when you’re around.
So hmmm guess this means I’m going for option 2 for now.
I still want a long, really intimate session with you some time. Like we talked about. mm.
Still have that image you gave me of licking you, tasting you from head to toe.
And yeah you’re right, I haven’t quite done this yet, but I'd like to. I want to. I really want to take control too, just really ride you… I want to be the one taking full pleasure in every part of you.
Oh, and on another note... you can tie me up anytime!
Well, guess that’s all I have to say…talk to you later..
Bye.