plus one

And now for something completely different.

I can’t wait anymore. I’m so behind in what’s been going on. But I realized this morning that I can’t wait anymore to share my excitement here.

So put behind the angst with me for a second, put aside the confusions, know that despite a slight relapse yesterday, my head has been clearer than it has been in a long time.

So here it is, if all goes well, drum roll please…….. I will be having myself a threesome this weekend.

*sound of champagne popping* (for starters..)

Oh I do be excited. You know I’ve talked about it quite a number of times before. If I have time and I feel like it, I'll post more on how it came about. Just because I think it's interesting, not something you really hear about, those important little details on the mechanics of an operation of this sort.

I woke up one morning and all my doubts and apprehensions about it had just packed and moved away, without really bothering to tell me why. Or still there, but with a personality transplant, complacent and ineffectual and personable doubts. Doubts that say, hey we got you covered, you’ve done your part, you’ve thought it out, you know it’s fine, go, go have your fun now, you sexy, horny bitch. Cause my doubts got attitude.

So I put my heart and energy into my search, and found someone who’s willing and appropriate, and hopefully she won’t flake out and we’ll do it.

This very weekend, wow. Me. T. A woman we will have met an hour or so before.

So much to be excited about, so much that will be new. Intimacy with a near stranger. A woman. The thought of a naked, hopefully aroused woman in my proximity. Seeing T with another woman. Me, my hands on another woman, her back. I want my hands on her back most of all somehow, the heat from it. I want her doggy-style and close, I want to be crouching near her, touching, pulling her hair out of her face to see her clenched up and cumming. I’ve seen her face and it’s crazy but I like the heavy look of her eyelids, makes me want to see them get even heavier, watch her pupils start to lose focus. I want to see T’s face as he does it, embroiled in double want, tried and untried. I hope he does it, he’s not sure, says it depends on how she turns out, and I understand, but I hope he fucks her. Yes, that is the strangest part of all. Want to see him do it. Want an outside glimpse. No a study. Want to see his cock spreading a cunt other than my own.

Want to be fucked right after, want her to watch us, still gasping, want her to see how quickly he can make me cum when he wants to. I’ll be so far gone at that point anyways. Could explode upon his first entry anyways at that point probably.

And the looks, I keep trying to imagine the looks, insane. Furtive glances between each other? Or just staring at it all unabashedly, in challenge?

I want to do it all. I want her breasts dangling in my peripheral vision, I want her legs spread within touching distance, I want to reach out for his hard cock and find her hand there. I want my tongue in different places. Imagine placing your mouth in the spot where two bodies join. Between heaving torsos. Even just between an arm on an arm, delicious. Or imagine that mouth and you’re part of the two. Just as good.

I want to see her pleasured by him, want that envy and lust, want him to deny me it, torture me with it. I want to egg both of them along with nothing more than my moans, unable to keep my hands off of myself. Or maybe I’ll help a little more, maybe in that moment I’ll just have to reach over and place a tentative finger on her clit, looking at her face to see if she wants me there, and I can picture just flashing a questioning look at T too in the moment when I start to stroke at her a little bit, so new, so familiar. Or maybe a gentle hand on his balls, or a hand on the part of his cock that’s just outside her cunt, like I’ve done before with him and me. Do you think he could reach over and slide a finger inside my wet right then? I think I’ll never want his smooth, thrusting cock as much as in that moment.

I picture her under me when he fucks me finally, I picture me on all fours too because it matches my mood, supported on my palms, just in her reach. And my breasts tear-dropping near her breasts, every time my body starts to sag and sway with the force of his cock in me, grazing her soft, rounded body every time I dip a little, moaning, looking away from her face, turning my neck to the side, almost shy in my arousal at first, laughing, being held by my hair so I have to look straight, and she can't escape either, doesn't want to, caged in my pillars for arms, T is doing the stretch stretch stretch thing with his cock again, his extra little push and surge towards the end, me just giving way no problem, until I start to cum, loud, start to cum, and T is cumming too again with me, hard and loud with me, everything that’s built up right there inside me, more insane then I’ve ever seen or felt him, her eyes there, I hope her hands everywhere, on herself, on me, on him, aroused again, if not cumming too, me releasing so hard and intense I am dying, then sinking with gentle lost abandon on to her, wet on her, my face in the pillow near where her head is, T still groaning hovering above us.

And think of the beginning, before all that, just think of all that raw rough pure sex lust suddenly pervading a room, there on his bed. Think of that meet beforehand. Think of how we’re going to feel going back to his place, if it works out. Think of how it might start. Think of the clothes coming off, and just the absolute excitement of that pushing and echoing of everyone’s arousal in an exponential cresecendo.

Put aside your fears for me. I know this might not be how it turns out at all. I know of awkwardness, sore dissapointment, being left out, not cooperating, feeling insecure.

I know, but I can’t seem to feel any of that anymore. Sex and fear sometimes inside each other anyhow, in the kernel of the other, to enjoy as a whole once you let go.

I want so much that just a little taste of any of it would make me happy. So many other
scenarios to want. And still the things I’ll want that will catch me by surprise.

I want this. So badly. Can you believe that this is me too?

I want her there. I want him there.

I’ll be there.

Wish me luck and lust and orgasms and naked skin and wanton sounds a plenty.