Hello!
I'm still around.
Since I've last posted, I've started on meds, my mother has come to live with me, I've tried to finish my project and now have three weeks left if I want to graduate, I've applied to teacher's colleges and thought endlessly about why I want to be a teacher, I've hoped that I am sure, I've felt myself fall more and more into a tender blender with T, I've had sex with him but not fully fulfilling cause we had to be so careful, I've watched him fuck another woman very recently, too recently for me to even talk about, but I want to, I've been hopelessly rude to the kind reader who left a comment on my last post and I want her to know that it touched me and it was what I have hoped for here when I started off, that this blog would hold together somehow as a whole, that I would come across naturally in the build of my erratic scrawl, not just in the flash of any one post, and it made me happy too because I have done just that with so many writers here, just stopped everything and read and read their archives, I have wanted to talk more about dealing with HPV but I am tired of the topic, of this mark on my life, and I have been ashamed of not finishing Jericho's interview after he took so much time and put so much thought into it, but I figured I'd be more ashamed to post a haphazard answer, and there is something in his questions that feels like I'd have to spend a lifetime answering, and I have neglected my darling gracious Justine, and I have wanted to send kisses Anna's way and and I have missed you all so and I've wanted to get back here, to just return to this world and write because there is much to say, to work out, and I want to change my template and put up all the links for the places that I am reading, which I have been wanting to do for over 6 months now, but I am a procrastinator,and there is no time, no proper time at all, and I think maybe it is a sign that I feel healthier, that I can put this aside a bit when I have to, but I miss it, I really really do.
I predict that I will have to continue to take this break, but I want to be back by around January, if not sooner.. we'll see. For now, living.
Love and kisses to anyone reading!
4 comments:
Don't you be silly! No need to apologize! I enjoy reading your blog whether you reply to comments or not- I know how busy life is, although I must admit I find myself checking virtually every day to see if there are any new blogs! Keep well, and share when you can!
Your always in my thoughts and prayers sweetheart. Take care of yourself, I'll be here...
xoxo,
nina
Darling Learn --
Thank you for the sweet shout-out! I had been missing you something terrible; but I was aware that your Mom was going to be with you, so knew that your not writing meant someone was taking care of you. (You didn't say if you'd told her, but I suspect she knows on some deeper level...)
And I'm glad you're doing some deeper reading in various blogs out there. There is a lot to know about all our chums and their travails, much of it hopeful -- as, indeed, you need to be, yourself.
And I'm also glad school is moving along and you'll soon be done with it and into a career. Teaching, is it? Or research? In any case, getting that behind you will simplify some things.
So, please be happy and healthy, and get your mind around all the complexities of your life (the meds should help).
Big, big hugs, sweetie!
take care my friend. hugs and kisses. p.s. you have been tagged - check my blog. hehe.
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