possibilities..III.

As I sat there in the minutes before I called him, I had the strangest impression, in a way I have never had before, that I was cumming already.

I think you'd especially enjoy being watched. Especially by a girl masturbating while watching.

My mind moved so fast, I was still. I tried to take a deep breath but the breath was instead taken from me, shaken down through me. A lump in my throat was all that held me back, all that prevented me from diffusing into the room.

In that unexpected moment when fantasy became most faintly tinged with possibility, I was rendered useless. Nerves and lust, excitement and fear embroiled in dangerous beauty. I didn’t know if I could talk at all, if I could make it past our hello.

Somehow I did. Somehow I lay on my bed and we talked over the phone.

Talking distantly like in a dream, I tried to join him as he went over again the possible pros and cons of each option. How I could do neither if I wanted to, even stop having sex with him altogether. The last choice seemed unlikely in that moment.

I tried to tell him how I was feeling but my mouth was dry.

We started to talk about involving another woman. The idea excited him. He said it wasn’t so much that he liked seeing two women together, it was more that he found the idea of watching me stretch my boundaries like that hot. Stretching my limits comfortably mind you, he added. He was wonderfully conflicted, insisting that he did not want to put pressure, talking about how exciting it would be for both of us, not wanting to feel like the ‘corrupting ‘ one, not wanting to put his desire on me, but hoping deep down that I would agree.

I just listened. My mind wanted to stretch around all of it, like my pussy yielding to his cock. I went to my clit. My clit was swollen like I had been rubbing it for hours. I told him how wet I was already. I could not say much more.

‘One of the things I hope to show you is how to talk out loud about what you want, your fantasies. I want you to enjoy the sound of your voice, the power. Tell me, what do you want? ‘

Silence.

‘ You told me you liked that feeling of fantasy becoming possibility. What fantasy are you thinking about? A woman? A threesome?’

‘Yes, a threesome’

‘What kind of threesome?’

‘A guy and a girl.. well I mean, you and another girl’

‘Are we taking turns? Or are we all involved at once? What are we doing?’

I could not think at all. My nighttime fantasy had slipped my mind entirely. My voice was trembling.

‘I think I want… you both..pleasuring me’

I laughed because it was selfish.

‘How? What is she doing?’

Silence.

‘Tell me’

Gentle, firm. I bit my lips.

‘Tell me… Tell me.’

I choked out the words in a whisper. The first ones I could think of.

‘She’s eating me out’

Fuck. I want to pull back. I want to rage on.

‘Strong and hard, or just teasing?’

‘….teasing…just.. licking softly’

‘What will she do when your pussy gets hot?’

‘She’ll… keep licking softly’

‘And when it gets even hotter?’

‘She’ll stick her finger in me’

‘I thought you wanted to be teased’

Smiling despite it at all.

‘I don’t have that much control’

‘What do you see me doing?’

‘Maybe just watching at first.’

‘What else?’

‘Stroking your cock… mmm…Would you be hard watching us?’

‘Yes.. I would.. but I wouldn’t be able to just watch for very long’

He asked again.

‘What am I doing?’

I think.

'Tell me'
‘.. you're fucking me’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah’
‘So I’m fucking you, the girl is licking and fingering you.. what is she getting out of this?’
‘Umm..my pleasure?’
‘Nothing more? We're both getting more than that. Don’t you think she’d want something more?’

I was panicking. I was resisting. I saw it all too clearly, like I was there. I felt my arousal, my fear; I felt her body next to mine. What do I do with it?

‘I might.. help her out’
‘How?’

Silence.

‘How?.’
‘I’d be… afraid…..’

Damn. I tried to continue.

“Maybe I could..touch her’
‘And then?’
Silence.
‘Tell me’
Silence.
‘Tell me’

I was too far gone for this, it was too sudden, too shattering. I gave up, writhing, my silence final.


He took over. He told me how we could touch her together. How my hand and his hand could meet at her cunt. He told me how her skin would feel, how soft a woman’s skin was.

His words became a blur, my desperation, my shock was wrenching me apart. I started to heave in sobs, working my fingers as he talked.

He told me to control it.

I wanted to cum so bad, I was crying and crying and crying for it.

He told me he was going to do something next that would make her cum. And that when she came, I could cum too, around his cock.

When she came, I could cum too.

When she came in his words, I came too. I came so loud he told me later he’d never heard me cum like that before.

I came like relief from guilt, like a breakdown. I came like I was falling apart, like for one moment, every part of me was lost.

He came too in that moment, listening to me cum.

(…STILL more to come)