I can't reach him. My period's begun and the pain is worse than usual. I have no one to talk to about this because no one knows I have a blog. Deception breeds hurt all around I suppose.
I've been wanting to cry, haven't been able to. Now that I've started it's not coming out right. Not a proper cry at all.
What a long fucking day.
Guess I'll go watch the Oscars. Actually I don't particularly enjoy the Oscars.
I can't even go play piano. Reminds me of him. Bah. Now that is bad.
I have stuff to do but cant' focus. Kitchen's a mess.
I'll go watch a documentary on monkeys or something. Would do penguins but already watched that one.
What a useless post.
6 comments:
Well perhaps now that it's out in the open you will eventually feel more free to be you...fully you
Also, it seems like your connection with T is already so raw sexually... perhaps the natural course is for emotions to follow suit?
Just something to munch on...
lots of hugs and kisses
anna:)
Gosh, what a complicated (yet understandable and even typical) situation! From my own recent experience (which you so thoughtfully commented on), I relate to the various issues you describe. It's nice to see that both Red and Anna also understand what you're going through.
Lying in such circumstances is a poisonous thing -- yet I admit I've done it in my own difficult relationship, AND oftener than I should. For whatever it's worth, my partner has been rather forgiving, even conciliatory. (Perhaps she belatedly sees she has a certain amount of...well, culpability for the frictions eating at us.)
So, anyhow, I sincerely hope you'll work through the problem and get back together with T. Lying, white or however, ain't good -- but losing a great relationship is so much worse.
Hugs, J
And, by the way, it WASN'T a "useless" post! It was what you needed at that moment. Why else do we all blog????
Another hug! J
JUSTINE!
You're alive!!! Grin and big hug!
Thanks, I think it'll work out, already has a bit.. Admittedly some of my teariness might have been a tad hormonal too.
I do understand the urge to lie I do, I'm nowhere near fully honest myself. Why else would I need a secret blog?
Good to see you up and about, seriously..
Love,
Learn
by telling him you made it not secret yet he knew it was supposed to be. What would you have done if the roles had been reversed and you really really wanted to know the person? not even tempted?
hope it all works out
hugs and kisses are for sure needed.
Oh like I said, expei, I definitely understand the temptation..
Thanks!!
Hug back,
Learn
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