Time goes by..

so slowly.

I swear this template is turning my writing more and more emo.

But yes, time goes slowly when you're waiting.

He met with her as planned, and we chatted about it for all of five minutes. He says he has to decide, but she is up for a threesome next week. You could have peeled me off the floor. Actually, you couldn't have, I was that floored. I asked how it went and it was "ok", she is apparently not "overly attractive". He said she asked him to "pleasure her manually", that he did and was "a bit bored". And in reference to whether he would like to fuck her or not, his answer is "slightly". I am trying not to be cynical but it all sounds a bit clinical and wishy-washy and suspect to me. I can deal with whatever picture I'm given, but I do need it to be more clear. Anyways I am sure I'll get a better idea once we can talk more. I'm sure it is uncomfortable and awkward for him to talk about and I don't want to push. And also I have to question why I need to know what I'm asking about.

I asked him what she has asked of me, and apparently she would like to see me cum. It's weird that I don't particularly want to chat with her on the Internet beforehand. I know I should. If I am honest, I am not particularly attracted to her photo either, and I can't pin down what it is, because everything about her is fine, but the whole composition doesn't come through for me. But then I am very new at this, and I don't know exactly what I look for in a woman. I don't even know if I fully look for a woman. And this kind of thing can only be told in real life, a presence, a smile, a way of moving and relating.

We will talk more later, he said, and dissapeared off into T land. It is Easter though so I assume a bunny kidnapped him off to a family dinner.

I have been sleeping too much, very dense dreams surrounding him and this. Fantasies spitting out of my ears. It is always like this for me when I feel an upheaval coming. I dreamt that I dreamt he kissed me, and then I dreamt that I woke up from this dream and he kissed me and I was like, hey I dreamt this. You can imagine my confusion upon awakening. The kissing felt fantastic and surreal and like we were going to stop and give each other high-fives. Strange. I dreamt he was about to tell me more of this girl, and I said, wait, before you tell me, and sat on his cock, and he told me like that, and though I would never ask him in life for that amount of detail, I asked question after question, he gave me every last little bit until I came. And I was telling him, I know, I know what you were thinking, you were lost completely, you didn't think of me at all, and it's hot, because it's the truth. Strange. I dreamt it happened, and this time, we tagged up on the girl, and I was teasing her with him, as though I had any say, I want to be fucked now, Girl, she had a name in my dream and I kept using it though I can't remember what it is now, what do you think?, should he stop?, should he stop so he can fuck me?, she was so close to cumming when I asked this, it sounds cruel but it didn't feel like it, she and I were smiling, her smile was desperate, knowing, hoping it was a game, mine to show I'm only teasing, although I did desperately want to be fucked, and T was joining in, hmm maybe I should stop, she does look like she needs to be fucked, what do you think? should I?, and he and I both knew that there would be no stopping, he would make her cum competely, but she didn't know this completely, and the funny thing is it didn't feel like it was about him at all, I was loving it because of her face, it was a surge of need to hold her arousal in my hand, make her cum even harder.

I know in real life this would be a poor tack to take, both for T, and for her, especially for a first encounter. I also know that overall, it sounds like whoa, not dealing with it so well are we? But it's more just that my mind's spinning about everything and anything surrounding this, and I want to control this because it is out of my hands at this moment in time, and I need to anchor it down now by figuring this out and taking the next step.

What's that you say about over-analysing?