truth - part I

I've decided to put this up finally. It's about X. Something very exciting and out there could be coming up in my life with T, and I really feel like I need this up before I can talk about the new. The song verse here is not mine obviously, but I'm trying to avoid getting direct hits from direct searches for the song, so I won't reference it. I know X is thinking of this song. I'll probably put the whole post away soon...



You’re driving me home. It’s the kind of night where it is difficult to be anything more than the music you’re playing in your car.

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

I’m sick with drink, and I’ve inclined my car seat all the way back. You drive upright while I glide along the black ground.

Streetlights roll around in orange fuzzy balls. Shiny whiskers of oncoming cars reach out, caress my face and scutter off.

I’m humming along. I could talk but I won’t.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

I could look at you but I don’t.

I start to sing along quietly but clearly. So dulled and still. I know this sweet sad cadence can’t be me. I echo off the car doors and meld in to the song, lost.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Your hand has been in my hands this whole time, on my lap. We could forget that it’s there, but we don’t.

And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go

I follow the edges of your smooth fingernails. We flex our fingers, and then you’re clasped between my webs. I’m fluttering with hints of squeezes. You flutter back.

We could shatter this, but we won’t.

But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

You’re feeling along my knuckles.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Your hand is hungry in my hands.

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I…

I don’t cry, though I will later, once we reach home and we start to kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss.

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I…

Yes, I suppose life is like this too, I suppose this too we will do.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

(...to be continued)