exes, girls and sincerity

I’m posting this part of my weekend encounter with X, because it is relevant to something that’s happening in my life with T right now. This blog is after all ultimately about T and me, not my past with X. Still, I’ll probably post the rest of this long, long story some other time.

The guy sitting next to me, I’ve met him only once before but he is a complete flirt. He asks me why I’m so quiet. I’ve had a drink or two. I whisper that the guy sitting behind him is my ex, and that this is the first time seeing each other since we broke up. He looks amused.

‘Which one?’
I point him out discreetly.
‘And the girl with him?’
I laugh.
‘That’s a good question’
‘Oh I see’
‘Do you now?’
‘I didn’t think he’d be your type. You can do better than that’

I just shake my head at him. I cannot escape how cliché this all is.

‘Let’s talk numbers.. how many months?’
‘Together or apart?’
‘Apart’
‘2 months’
‘That’s fairly recent… and together?’
‘Two years’
‘Pretty long… How’re you feeling now?’
‘I’ve been better’
‘I understand’
‘Well he was my first relationship’
‘First and so far, last.. interesting…’
‘Think of your first relationship.. how did you feel?’
‘Actually hmm…it was with a Romanian girl in Denmark. I think it lasted a week’
‘Never mind’


We hush up as X and girl approach us, asking if we want to go play pool with them. I tell them we’ll join them after Flirt here finishes his dinner. I don’t actually call him that, of course… You know what I mean.

We resume talk. Flirt takes his time with his food, he is asking a lot of questions and I don’t seem to mind. I want to be asked, it is better than this sitting around and not talking about it.

We start to talk about relationships. We turn to religion for a bit and the veer back on to relationships again. We discuss why it ended. It is good to be reminded why we broke up. He suggests that it is all for the best. I’m finding this whole conversation too funny.

‘See you had your good times together.. You’re what? 22? You’ve got like 3-4 years.. Go out, experiment, have some fun….. You gotta jump right back into it too, you can’t sit around and wait’

He’s hilarious.

‘I think I’ve got it covered already, thanks…’

He’s got a grin on his face.

‘Something you might want to consider too, if you’re going to experiment: girls’

It’s funny that he should say that after the 'kinda' moment I had in my conversation with T the day before. I roll my eyes though because he says it in your typical macho ‘I get off on this’ kind of way.

‘Well, you can ask my ex about that, I’ve never had any problems with girls’

I regret saying it. I don’t want my honest desire turned into some tool to impress his imagination, especially when I barely know him and he is so… common about it too. I move on quickly to another question before he can ask more:

‘What happens after 26 by the way?’

‘Well, you can’t be sexually promiscuous after 26.. it’s just too hard… look at me, I’m hitting 26, and I’m definitely starting to slow down ’

‘Oh come on, I can’t even compare to you, I know about you…’

Yes I’ve heard of him. He is a bit of a man-whore. The understanding, delicate, soothing type. Almost effeminate but strangely confident. He is not attractive but he is commanding. He loves women dearly, feels a universal affection for all of them. He treats them well. He pretends to care when he listens. He reaches over and holds your wrist for a second as he talks to demonstrate a point. He tries girl after girl, sometimes at the same time, and then classifies them into groups. He is around for as long as you can stand him. Or until he grows tired of you. Whichever comes first.

I cannot help but think of T, and realize what a difference his sincerity makes.